Being Groomsman

I was one of two groomsmen at the wedding on Friday.


Picture of Irene and me. Courtesy of Chia.

I signed myself up to do the speech/toast, since I figured that I could probably use the practice. I hate public speaking. Talking to people is okay. I don't schmooze, but I don't mind socializing a bit. Addressing a large group of people is okay too. However, doing a prepared speech with actual/relevant content is not. There's always the risk of sounding too stiff, or blanking out. The last (and only) time I had to do a prepared speech in front of 50+ people, it was at my high school graduation. I wasn't even the only one up on the stage, and I screwed up (meaning, stuttered, and had to repeat) even though I was reading from a script. So, with this dark cloud still over my head, I was even more determined to give speeches another shot. Or die trying.

Since I've been extremely busy for the past two weeks, I didn't get to finish writing the speech until Thursday, the day before the wedding. That happened during the hour between rehersal and dinner. Yeah, I know... craziness. I had some sense of what the structure of the speech was going to be, but no content. Due to lack of sleep and general tiredness, I only started memorizing the speech the morning of the wedding. I will never cut it this close again!

During the dinner right before the toast, I figured that I would put some alcohol in my belly to help with the nerves. Thinking that it might actually make me looser and more talkative, I gulped down an entire glass of some cabernet sauvignon. In the end, I don't know whether it really helped or not, since I blanked out even more when I tried to practice the speech in my head. It might have caused me to stress out even more.

I vaguely remember being surprised when Adeline, one of the bridesmaids, began her speech. By that time, I still haven't done a complete run of my toast in my head. The next thing I knew, she was already asking for me to go up and do my thing.

I vaguely remember the things that happened after that point. I guess adrenaline kicked in and I only realized that I forgot to refer to my note card the whole time when I had to put it in my right hand to free up my left hand for the wine glass at the end of my toast. I somehow ended up ad-libbing a few parts when I thought of some funny comment to add, or when I couldn't remember the words I was supposed to say. Here's the text to my speech (I made my best effort attempt to add in the stuff I think I said... but like I said, I don't remember much).

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Hi everyone. I first met Ed as a freshman at MIT some 8 years ago. We lived a few doors down from each other in the dorm and since we were both in the Electrical Engineering and Computer Science department, we had many classes together. We spent most of our time working on projects for our classes, studying for exams, or playing video games. Sometimes we'll remember to eat or sleep; and occasionally, we'll call home to let our parents know that we're still alive.

(I remember blanking out here, and some how I was able to pull this out of my ass. =P It's stupid, but people did laugh, and it bought me some time as I tried to recall my next section) Some people ask, "Isn't college all about partying?" Well, at MIT, we don't party. We're engineers. We study for fun.

Coincidentally, Ed and I both found jobs out here in California, and moved out here after graduation 3 years ago.

My first impression of Ed was that, he is a very messy person! His room is always in disarray, and looks as if something had exploded in there. Piles of books and papers here; piles of clothing there; his desk is overflowing; his trashcan is overflowing; occasionally you might catch an interesting smell from the fridge. It always amazes me how Ed manages to find anything in his room. Laundry for Ed consists of taking his laundry basket and going around the apartment to gather up all the clothing scattered on the floor. If you don't believe me, you can confirm this with Jen. (At this point, Ed's dad chimed in unexpectedly and confirmed that the messiness is indeed inherited... some crazy laughter followed... giving me valuable time to regroup and prepare for my next line)

As you can see, Jen obviously did not marry Ed for his cleanliness, or looks. (This comment drew the greatest reaction from the crowd. I guess I did push it a little bit too far. But I wouldn't have made this comment if I thought he's bad-looking. And notice, I never used the word, "ugly", did I?) I guess you can think of it as a testament to his good traits, such as his good-natured personality and intelligence. Either that, or she might have lowered her standards a bit.

Seriously though, I has been a true friend over the years. He is very good-natured and down to earth. In all my years of knowing him, I have never seen him get mad at all. He is always kind and generous with his friends. I can’t tell you how many times he’s had to listen to me whine about work or recount horror stories from bad dates. I feel truly honored and fortunate to call Ed my friend.

Everyone, please raise your glasses and join me in this toast.

Jen and Ed, may you two share many more wonderful memories in your journey together. I wish you two everlasting love and happiness.

To Jen and Ed.

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I have to thank Albert again for putting my camera to good use while I was occupied...


My most stressful moment in recent years.


Looks like the happy couple was still enjoying my speech at this point.


("What the hell was I going to say next?! Shouldn't have drank that wine!")